The Human Brain

I am becoming increasingly interested in the way our brains work. Specifically, the way our brains create and store memories. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that my father has early Alzheimer's or maybe because my real fear is that I might be next. Every time I wander into the kitchen and forget what I went there for I think-"Aha, this is it. This is proof that I'm losing my mind." Like my Dad I've never had a good sense of direction. This morning we took the kids on an outing and I wasn't paying attention where S (my patient husband) was driving. After a while I had no idea which bridge we'd crossed or where we were...it was troubling, to say the least. Is this what my Dad experiences every time he leaves the house? I've read that challenging your brain with puzzles helps to keep it sharp so I purchased several books of Soduku. I guess actually doing the puzzles might help. I also have occasional auditory hallucinations (usually from lack of sleep, unless this is related to LSD use in college) If I am half asleep I can be completely confused and disoriented. I think I hear doorbells ringing in the distance, people shouting out my name, etc. I also don't always recognize people if they are in a different context than I am used to--ie: if I saw my daughter's preschool teacher on a bus in a different city, I might not recognize her. Further proof is that sometimes I absent-mindedly leave things in odd places--like my keys in the refrigerator...crazy stuff like that.
God...I really hope I'm not next.

In case you were wondering, my Dad never did sign the Health Care Proxy. We are now in the process of appointing my mother to be his Legal Guardian. On Tuesday he goes back to the Neurologist where they will formally explain to him that he may no longer drive for his own safety and others. Then they will take away his car keys.

My mother says she is filled with anxiety and is having trouble sleeping in anticipation of all this.

If I start to lose my mind when I get old, I promise you, my husband and children, that I will try really hard not to make your life Hell.