Can we afford to stay here?

That is the Big question. As this year draws to a close, we find our bank accounts are anemic and we struggle to pay our bills month to month...right now we are barely gasping for air.

We shake our heads in dismay. We question why it is that we continue to live in the most expensive city on earth. (at least San Francisco feels like it is right now) We could live anywhere else in the US. We are freelancers...we aren't tied to a specific job. M hasn't started elementary school yet so this might be the perfect time to uproot. And yet....
17 years living somewhere is a long time. Many friends are here. We've put down roots. In a few years our kids will have put down roots. We've put money, time and energy into our home. We finally have finished our yard. The thought of packing up my studio makes me feel nauseated. And yet...

Everything is too expensive.
Example: This month's PG + E bill was almost $400(!!) Did I forget to turn out a light somewhere?

The schools here are a mixed bag. If M gets into a desirable public elementary school (one of the top 4 on our list), our expenses will decrease, but what if she doesn't? My favorite school (by far) that I've toured is the crunchy private school in the Mission. That's $11K/ year. (cheap by private school standards) Let's see... with 2 kids that comes to...uh... $22K/year (gulp!) Fahgettaboutit. My top choice public school is also the most popular. They have a kiln. The hours are insane (7:50am start time) but the drive isn't so bad. The neighborhood is safe. The kids have art, dance, music and PE almost every day. But with 230 applicants listing this as their first choice (there are 35 open slots), we haven't a chance in Hell. Until last week I thought my # 2 choice would be a shoo-in. Now I hear from a parent at M's preschool that she pulled her daughter out this year because her kindergartener was called a "Ding Dong" by her teacher and made to sit in the corner. Why? For drawing on her paper after she was done with her writing lesson. If that isn't enough, during the afterschool program she was constantly ACCOSTED in the bathroom by older girls and bullied into giving up her lunch money. EVERY. DAY. A sweet, bright little kindergartener. This breaks my heart.

I love SF. Truly I do. I'll defend her like an old friend who is a little misguided....who has made a few bad choices in her life but is still interesting and likeable.
I've spent most of my twenties and now my entire thirties living here. I've weathered the Dot Com boom and bust. I've watched the downtown build, expand and flourish. I've been through earthquakes and floods and even a couple car accidents. I've seen freeways torn down to make way for parks and an upscale farmer's market. I've lived across the street from crack houses. I've lived with crazy Roumanian clubbers. I've lived in the fog. I've been robbed. I've been followed home. In the early '90's I drank Smart Drinks and smoked Hookahs. I went to piercing parties, shower shows, snake belly dances and gay pride parades. I've witnessed orgies. I've seen destitute people dying in alleys. I've tossed tortillas in the air at Bay to Breakers.

I've fallen in love and birthed 2 children here.

I've done a lot of growing up here.

So we are giving ourselves a deadline.
December 2007 we decide whether we will continue to sweat it out in the beautiful but troubled City by the Bay.